Books are merely distractions
by DiamondRussia
Summary: He had a thick head. Period.


**Books**

_-+-_

Monday: In the Library, at eleven at night, starting one of their five essays

_The first day was spent experimenting. _

_With stupidity._

"What now?"

"Go away."

"Well?"

…

"Yeah, what are we gonna do, what now?"

…

"What now, what now, what now, what now, what—"

THUNK

"SHUT UP!! I'M TRYING TO READ!!"

-+-

Tuesday: Still in the Library at three, with one essay left stuck between them and bed

_The second day was spent mostly in silence. _

_At least for one person._

"What's your great plan, Hermione?"

…

"Fine, don't talk to me."

…

…

…

"What 'cha reading?"

"History of Magic, Volume XII, Hardback Edition."

"Oh."

…

"What's it—"

"SHUT UP!! ARE YOU BLIND?!"

THUNK

-+-

Wednesday: In the History of Magic class, studying with the Gryfinndors

_The third had some trouble dealing with vocabulary. _

_It was the last time he ever asked her about spelling._

"What d—"

"SHUT UP FOR ONCE!! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO READ! HOW THICK ARE YOU?"

"No. I won't shut up until you tell me what the word 'imprudent' is."

"It means stupid, you dimwit! Now SHUT UP!"

…

"Fine. But—"

"Do you ever learn?"

THUNK

"Is it your 'time of the month'?"

-+-

Thursday: Gryffindor common room with the rest of the sixth years

_The fourth spent testing limits. _

_Sometimes even heroes can be thick._

"Look, Hermione, I want to apologize."

…

"I'm sorry."

…

"I am. Really."

…

"Will you just say something!!"

…

"Fine. I'll just make you say something."

SMACK

…

"HARRY-BLOODY-WELL-DEAD-POTTER! What in Merlin's name make you think that you have—"

"Had."

"Had. Had the right to do such an atrocious thing. Whatever. You had no right to—to, umm…"

"Kiss you?"

THUNK

"Never talk to me ever again!"

-+-

Friday: Gryffindor common room with Lavender and Ron

"Hermione?"

"Do you _want_ me to hit you?"

"No, but I was wondering if you knew what day the Hogsmeade weekend is on."

"Why would I know, Harry? Why would I care either? Why are you asking me? Why do you think that I need to know? Why—"

"Never mind."

"Shut up, I was on a roll. ANYWAY, why would you ask me that?"

"Nothing. No reason."

…

"It is this weekend, isn't it?"

"SHUT UP!! I'M TRYING TO READ!!"

"But you're not reading, you're writing an es—"

THUNK

"Where'd you get the book?"

-+-

Saturday: Three Broomsticks, Hogsmeade, full of people

"Hey, Hermione."

"Hey."

"Not going to bash me with any books are you?"

"No, not today."

"Oh. Okay, good, because I have something to ask you about, and you might not like what it is."

"Go on."

"See, I was thinking about the other day…"

"Which one?"

"Err…the one that I, umm, kissed you?"

"Oh."

"And I was kind of wondering if you wanted to…"

"Yes?"

"Iwaswonderingifmaybeyouwantedtogooutwithme?"

"Ah, I only caught half of that, Harry, can you say it again."

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me?"

"Sure."

-+-

Sunday: Gryffindor common room all alone

_I guess you could say he go what he wanted, all along._

_It just took five blows to the head to realize it._

"So."

"Yes?"

"What do we do now?"

"Don't ask me, you were the one who said that we should go to the kitchen."

"Yeah, but you were the one who said that we should make a pie the muggle way."

"You were the one who made it explode."

"You told me too."

"No, Dobby told you too, I was just encouraging him to use free choice, and he did."

"You were the one who kicked all the people out of the common room when we came back."

"Shut up."

"_And_ you told Fred and George to take their clothes off."

"They were soaking wet! And I didn't know that they would start taking _all_ of their clothes off!"

"But they did."

"Harry…"

"Yes, Hermione?"

"Shut up."

"Only if I get to shut you up."

"Fine."

SMACK

…

"HARRY-STILL-BLOODY-DEAD-POTTER, what in Merlin's name made you do that."

"You just look so prett—"

THUNK

"I thought I put all the books away…"

-+-

And that was how The-Boy-who-lived –through-a-bookworm's-attack-and-kissed-his-best-friend learned not to bother a girl who was reading.


End file.
